On the Soap Box - A Very Near Miss & The Aftermath

NOTE: This is a re-post, after the original vanished from my blog for some reason.

Here we go with the first Soap Boxer post, not counting that intro below of course. I will ask your forgiveness up front. This post is likely to more a rambling collection of thoughts and recollections than an actual article.

Why am I writing this?

We in our family have had a horrific six months. Actually it's more like two years, but the real nightmare began six months ago. Psychologists and Case Workers have advised that we keep a journal to log our thoughts and experiences, as part of the tool kit for healing up.

I have decided to go for an extra dose of pain and discomfort with my journal, and do it publicly. Right from the early days six months ago, I felt a strong conviction that these things NEED to be talked about publicly. I believe that talking about these things publicly can not only raise awareness and make people think, but maybe even save lives. It has taken me this long to reach a point with myself, and the family, where I could start to write.

The nightmare begins.

At 3:30pm on 04th September 2012, I got a phone call at work from my wife. She was clearly distraught, and while I was beginning to gain a glimmer of the horror of what she was trying to say, I was unsure what was going on. The phone is handed to a very kind and gentle sounding Paramedic who explains what my wife was trying to tell me.

About half an hour earlier, my youngest daughter and her mum, arrive home from school and work. While putting a few things away in the pantry, my wife realised that it was very quiet, and that our daughters bedroom door was closed. Something that never happened.

The two of them open the door to check on our older daughter, as maybe she is sick or something. What they found was our older daughter, hanging from a bed sheet. She was unconscious and had stopped breathing.

Even though I am her dad and have been completely shattered by this experience, I can not begin to understand what it was like for mum and little sister to step into this scene.

They both reacted in the right ways at the right times, getting our daughter loose and getting her breathing again, although it was a while before consciousness returned. Paramedics were called, and one of the darkest journeys that any parent could ever experience began.

Our beautiful girl had tried to take her own life.

The first few days.

The paramedics took our daughter to an Emergency Mental Health Evaluation Unit at the local public hospital. As great as this unit was, they are not permitted to keep patients for more than a couple of days.

Nearing the end of the stay in the emergency unit, we were given two options. Take our daughter home, or put her in St Vincents Private where they have a private mental health unit dedicated to young adults. Thank goodness for private health cover, because taking her home at that moment had a high chance of being a death sentence. A third option, barely even mentioned and not considered, was a public hospital mental health ward. Definitely not a place you can put a sixteen year old girl.

In this time we also discovered that she had been self harming, abusing over the counter pain killers, and drinking. We actually had caught her drinking and smoking earlier, but did not realise the extent of what we were starting to witness.

Working things out.

Our daughter has since been diagnosed as Bi-Polar 2, and suffering from General Anxiety Disorder. There were a range of other less acute issues that have been diagnosed along the way, such as Paranoia, and Body Dysmorphia.

For a great deal of her child hood she has been hiding what she really felt, right up until it nearly killed her. A child who was always seen as a happy, intelligent, bubbly person who made everyone in contact with her feel happy, was anything but, and too afraid to show it.

Six months later, the doctors are still tinkering with a cocktail of mood stabilisers, anti-depressants, and sleeping medication, in an effort to get her stabilised. Until that happens, the family is living in a permanent state of hyper-vigilance.

Now?

We were very lucky throughout this experience and the aftermath in a number of ways.

Our daughter was found in time. She has escaped without any of the physical damage that can come from an attempted suicide by hanging. Her mum has a first aid qualification, and her sister is a Cadet Life Guard, with her Bronze Medallion. They both knew just what to do despite the turmoil that must have been unfolding in their minds at the time.

While we live from pay to pay, have a very frugal lifestyle, and have no savings, I have insisted for years on having full, comprehensive, health cover. Acute mental health care in hospital for more than a day or two, as we have discovered, is just not available for young people unless they can go private (even then there are severely limited resources). Our daughter spent forty days in hospital under twenty four hour supervision.

The local Family Health Team in the public health system has been absolutely fantastic. Under funded, under staffed, and over worked, we were still provided with a Case Manager who in turn provided care via Counselors, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, and Community Workers, not just for our daughter, but for anyone in the family who needs help. These guys have been amazing.

We have had our daughter connected with a specialist recruitment agent who deals specifically with Youth suffering through mental health problems.

That's enough for today. The grammar and syntax is terrible, but writing this has left me more than a little weepy and shaky, so I am leaving it as is. There is more to add, and some very important related subjects that I want to write about. This will occur as I gather thoughts, information, and motivation.

New Beginnings & Directions

This post resurrecting the Soap Boxer Blog marks something of a departure. A blog that hosted writings and resources on the subjects of leadership and management, is being turned to matters more social and cultural.

As an individual I find myself wanting to challenge some difficult aspects of our society. In some cases these have almost attained the position of being taboo.

Some subjects that may find themselves up on the Soap Box over time include mental health, equal rights, privilege  education, health care and medicine, bullying, religion, and if I am feeling particularly masochistic,  politics.

For now though, much of my thoughts will be on the subject of mental health care, particularly as it relates to our kids and families.This is an area where recent experience tells me there is a lot if discomfort about openly discussing the subject. 

I am perfectly aware that we see media, press, and health related organisations talking about this. However, hearing an individual talk about personal experience with mental illness seems rare. Almost taboo if you will.

It is in this light that I have decided to write my next couple of posts. It will be confronting and painful enough, that I expect that the quality of the writing will not be perfect. However, I wish to show that it is perfectly OK, and maybe even helpful to talk openly.

Stay tuned.